So You’ve Seen The Avengers, Now What?

Uhm, Tony? I don't think Cap likes you posing like that..."

 

Well, the movie event geeks have clamored for years about has finally happened. Some of you certainly attended the midnight showing, and a certain percentage of those were astute enough to realize that work today was something that just wouldn’t happen, so you called out. Of course, some of you who are now playing hooky will go see it again, but what about those who won’t? How will you spend this fine day?  Good luck for you, as I have some suggestions.

 

1. Google Bad Taste

Peter Jackson’s first film, about a group of aliens coming to Earth to harvest human flesh for their intergalactic fast-food chain, is a fun, if not gore filled ride. It is laughably bad, with production values so low, it rivals most home movies. Several online outlets (not including Netflix, damn them) offer this cheesy gore-fest. Here is a behind the scenes look at the film from The Internet Archive:

 

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2. Start an Internet Rumor

Fun for those who create them, annoying to those they are about, and highly confusing to those not in the know, fake internet rumors have been a staple of this online world of ours since its inception.  Starting one can be daunting however, so we’ve thrown together this handy little chart to get help you started. Just grab a D12, and roll for one from column A, one from B, and one from C. If column B says (roll again) roll once more from column A.

 

Column A [People] Column B [Rumors] Column C [Details]
1 Neil Gaiman having child with (roll again) a koala
2 Joss Whedon in legal trouble 5 tons of flax
3 Felicia Day is new writer for the Klingon empire
4 Karen Gillam is cast in the Messiah
5 Gail Simone was caught smuggling discordianism
6 George Lucas in feud with (roll again) the Higgs-Boson
7 Stan Lee “retires becoming” Batgirl
8 Lisa Randall discovers Before Watchmen
9 Brian Cox disproves the Daleks
10 Kevin Smith is the new ambassador to the the Dalai Lama
11 Matt Smith is addicted to an obscene amount of ketchup
12 Brian Michael Bendis engaged to(roll again) Mars

 ”So let’s see, 3, 1, ooh roll again! 11, and….4. Felicia Day is having a child with Matt Smith, geeks await word on the birth of The Messiah!”

 

Feel free to post your creations in the comments below. Who knows, your story may be picked up by TMZ!

3. Automate Your Home

Want to be like Tony Stark and be able to tell your house what to do?  Hop on over to http://www.automatedhome.co.uk/ for instructions and products that will allow you to do just that.  Just be careful, otherwise you’ll have no time for friends and family, and your “party mode” will involve you, a disco ball, and a strong sense of being alone in the world. (much like this guy, I would imagine)

4. Memorize Pi

Want to impress your friends and family? This probably isn’t the way to do it, but if you disagree, here is Pi, to 300 places. Get to memorizing!

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286
08998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481
11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823
3786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273

If you REALLY want to impress (annoy) them, head over to piday.org for the first million. Have fun!

5. Stand In Line…Again.

You know you want to. You aren’t doing anything anyway. Besides, you can have fun discussing fake spoilers while waiting with folks who haven’t seen it before. “OMG I can’t wait to see the Fin Fang Foom scene in 3D!”. Odds are a few people who overhear will be so upset that they will wander away, giving you their place in line, getting you ever closer to the perfect seat!

 

 

About Mark Driscoll

When not ranting about the current state of his favorite comics or working on L33t, Mark spends a majority of his time renovating his newly purchased, 120 year old Victorian house. Badly. He is very bad at talking about himself in the third person, as he thinks it make him sound pretentious.

4 comments on “So You’ve Seen The Avengers, Now What?

  1. Dieter says:

    Thanks for letting me use my d12s.

    “George Lucas engaged to an obscene amount of ketchup.” Hmmm, I knew there was something not quite right about that boy.

  2. Proffitt says:

    Unfortunately, I’ve done all of these things already, too. Any more suggestions?

  3. Mark Driscoll says:

    Well, there’s always knitting. Or go read Locke and Key.

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