I don’t know if this will end up being a regular thing for me or the website, but I was thinking about this while I ate my lunch today. We all wish we could interject ourselves for just a short time in certain movies in order to right a wrong, take the plot in another direction or just tell off some jerk that needed it. Well, today I get to vent about something that has been troubling me since 1984.
I was watching Star Trek III: The Search for Spock the other day and one thing kept gnawing at me during the scene when Kirk visits McCoy in his detention cell to break him out.
The security guard let’s Kirk into the cell and then tells him that he’s got two minutes. Now the way I read that was that he was really saying, “Okay Admiral, you’ve got two minutes to talk to psycho boy before I kick you and that dead hamster on the top of your head outta here.”
Now, we all know that James Kirk is a model officer and all around bad-ass. But there is no way he should have let that pass. So instead of just saying nothing, I would have liked Kirk to have replied to the guard, over his shoulder, not even dignifying him by turning in his direction and saying, “Look son, I am an admiral. I am Chief of Starfleet Operations and this gentleman here is the Chief Medical Officer of the Starship Enterprise and more importantly, my friend. So that means if I feel like sitting here two days talking with him, that is entirely my prerogative and none of your business. Now get out of here before I have you piloting shuttles full of rubber Tribble shit out of Alpha Centauri for the rest of your Starfleet career.”
Sadly he did not say that to him, but just a few short minutes later, punched him in the face. Way to go Jim!
If you’ve thought to yourself: ‘what I need on my DVR this summer is a show with teenage, sometimes useless werewolves, monsters, young women who kick ass, and hunters with impressive arsenals’ then fear not, there is a show for you.
Teen Wolf is an MTV production, and did well among viewers last season because of its willingness to write in a large number of scenes where guys lost their shirts, highlight teen angst, and feature the newest supernatural darlings: werewolves.
Last season, the show received a fair bit of criticism for its reliance on certain creative tropes, and an occasionally saccharine, star-crossed romantic storyline. However, the cast is strong, and it’s clear that the writers’ room has taken some of this advice to heart and made improvements.
Here are some important facts:
1. First off, realize that the hero is not a genius. In fact, he’s the kind of guy that you remember from high school (the nice one who gets into trouble all the time) and he probably just wandered into a den of werewolves and you should really go help him. Right. Now.
2. There is a severe shirt allergy in Beacon Hills, CA. Guys tear off their shirts in times of emotional stress, when the light changes at an intersection, or it’s a day that ends in ‘y.’
3. Women are not used as eye candy. Unfortunately, most of them don’t have a role besides being a) girlfriend or b) mother. Although, some of them have compound bows.
4. Werewolves are kind of freaking awesome. And sometimes scary. But don’t forget how awesome they are.
5. One of the characters is an openly gay guy, and he is one of the most beloved people in town. Even the quintessential ‘entitled jock’ character is his BFF and somehow becomes nicer when around this guy.
6. Lacrosse is making a comeback, and this results in a lot of scenes that are one step away from featuring energy drinks as product placement.
7. If werewolves have arguments, they settle them by tearing off their clothes, growling, and destroying furniture.
8. Watch out for families who are named ‘Argent’ if you’re a werewolf. Or else you’re going to have a really bad day. Just ask Derek Hale.
9. The villain isn’t always the person you suspect, and even your enemy might be willing to make an alliance for the greater good. Think it over.
10. It’s a good idea to trust your friends. If you can’t do that, you might end up howling at the moon, and that can be awkward at parties, not to mention during an intimate moment.
If you’re still wondering what it’s all about, check out the links below.
MTV: Teen Wolf – airing Monday at 10/9C on MTV.
Did you know that Darth Vader has a Twitter account?
It’s true! This social-networking site is a real internet powerhouse and it’s more than just tweets about lunch and link-sharing if you know where to look! The following is a list of my favorite fun accounts I follow on Twitter. They’re great for a laugh, and at only 140 characters, they make a perfect mid-day pick-me-up!
@tng_s8 – TNG Season 8
Were seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation just not enough for you? Never fear! This twitter account throws up miniature descriptions of fake episodes for an eighth season of TNG. Every episode is absolutely hilarious, and this account keeps me coming back to relive the humor.
@God_Damn_Batman – The Batman
Batman is a BAMF. This, you cannot deny. So what would happen if Batman got a hold of a Twitter account? I have to imagine it would look exactly like this. Batman doesn’t take crap from anyone, and that includes Robin and Alfred. Not to mention a good Bat loves to tout his henchmen-and-baddie-stomping skills!
@FakeAPStylebook – The Fake AP Stylebook
Okay, maybe this one isn’t as funny to everyone, but for those of us working in the journalism field where AP Style is pretty much our bread-and-butter, this is pretty hilarious. And considering they have over 270,000 followers, I’m guessing there are some non-Journalists getting a kick out of their fake guidelines as well!
@DepressedDarth – Darth Vader
Even a Sith Lord has a bad day once in awhile, and getting a look into Darth Vader’s mind can be pretty dang amusing. If you think your day’s been bad, check out this account and feel a little better. (I mean after all, your deductible has to be better than Vader’s!)
@DeathStarPR – Death Star Public Relations
You think your job is bad? Can you even imagine what it must be like to work for the public relations department on the Death Star? This hilarious account details some of the spins a PR Group for the Death Star would have to pull.
@EricasFish – Erica’s Fish
Yeah, we’ve all seen pictures of cats with hilarious captions on them. There are entire websites devoted to them. But this account is all from the perspective of a fish! This particular account is fairly new and doesn’t have many followers yet, but I’m extremely amused so far!
@Lord_Voldemort7 – The Dark Lord
Well if we have the iconic baddie from Star Wars, we of course need to feature the iconic baddie from Harry Potter! This particular Twitter account has a similar feel to The Batman’s account, but is highly amusing in it’s own way. Voldemort’s account is a bit more meta and deals with some pop-culture happenings.
@michael_bay__ – Fake Michael Bay
Making fun of Micheal Bay is a personal hobby of mine. With copious amounts of explosions and other such nonsense in all of his films, I can’t help but laugh at him a little. And this Twitter account makes it all the easier. It’s a new discovery of mine, but I have to say I’m never going back!
@Hal9000_ – HAL 9000
What could be more awesome than the Twitter account of a sentient computer bent on the destruction of human lifeforms? Well, maybe don’t answer that. HAL’s probably listening in anyway. Instead, you’d better just follow the account. It’s safer that way.
So, did I miss your favorite humorous account? Let me know in the comments below! Also remember you can follow me @HotPinkJoystick for a continuous dose of girly, geeky goodness!
