As promised I’ve followed up last week’s article with my selections for a DC football team. I’ve got to be honest, selecting this team was much harder than last week’s Marvel team. I felt like an actual coach trimming down the roster, analyzing certain picks and shuffling around heroes to find the best fitted position for each. In the end, I hope you all enjoy the team I’ve come to say is my 2012 DC football squad (and switching things up this time around and posting the defense first).
Defense:
DE: Demon (Etrigan): Literally, a humanoid demon sprouted out from the darkest depths of Hell. Super strength, speed, and can shoot fireballs out of his mouth; not something a quarterback would want to see rushing towards him each snap.
NT: Solomon Grundy: Not the smartest character in the DC Universe, but the immortal can clog up both running and passing lines with his uncanny size and strength.
DE: Tasmanian Devil: If you ask me, a super powered werewolf coming off the opposite edge of Demon is extremely terrifying. Unparalleled speed, power, and ferociousness from the mild-mannered, Hugh Dawkins’ alter-ego, would make him a perfect defensive end.
OLB: KGBeast: A skilled assassin who never leaves a job unfinished. His tenacity will make him an excellent pass rusher, but his attention to detail makes him that much more lethal as a coverage linebacker.
MLB: Lobo: The bad-boy of the DC Universe. Nearly immortal and a hundred percent insane, I don’t know a single person who would want to stare across the line of scrimmage and see a cigar-smoking, killing machine smiling right back at you.
MLB: Batman: If you haven’t noticed there’s quite a few DC villains on this front seven already and someone needs to keep them all in check. Bruce Wayne could realistically play any of the skill positions, but I felt his leadership would be needed most here, plus let’s face it Batman has a dark side he needs to let out. Personally, I think he’d enjoy laying out a few wide receivers going across the middle.
OLB: Bane: Traditional venom-fueled Bane (over the Christopher Nolan interrupted Bane from The Dark Knight Rises) lurking behind an insanely quick pass rush is intimidating to say the least. Bane’s smart enough to drop into coverage, but he’s an edge-rushing, hit-first outside linebacker like Terrell Suggs.
CB: The Flash: Do I even have to explain this one? The Flash would re-define what a shutdown corner is; forget Revis Island it’s the Flash’s continent.
Safety: Deathstroke the Terminator: The intimidation factor he brings to the table clearly lands him on defense, but despite being tempted to put him at linebacker, I feel like Deathstroke would be a John Lynch sort of safety. No blazing speed, but he’s going to sit back, let you catch the ball and immediately make you regret you even touched the damn pigskin in the first place.
Safety: Superman: I know this may surprise (or even upset) few readers, but I tossed Kal-El around the line-up at least a dozen times. Like Batman, he could excel at any of the skill positions, but I settled on safety because of his speed and strength. Superman can play the line of scrimmage or sit back in coverage and gobble up interceptions. Quite frankly, he could probably be the only two-way player on this list as well.
CB: Wonder Woman: I was very close to putting Shade in this slot and leaving the Amazon off the list, but with The Flash, Deathstroke, and Superman rounding out the rest of the secondary I feel like Wonder Woman’s placement here adds the perfect accent to those three. She can cover massive amounts of yards and that warrior spirit of hers wouldn’t shy away from a little contact. It wouldn’t fit her to play on offense. Oh and just don’t tell her football is a man’s game-you may end up eating those words.
Punter: The Joker: The prince of crime was also close to riding the bench for this squad, but when it comes down to it his unpredictability would make him an entertaining player to watch plus a headache for opposing coaches and defenses. You literally would never know if he’s actually going to punt the ball or run a fake-play, but whichever he chooses you better believe the opposition is going to regret it.
Offense:
QB: Green Arrow: Accuracy, accuracy, accuracy. Agile enough to run a couple bootlegs here and there, but the proto-typical pocket passer. The Green Arrow would make Tom Brady look like a rookie.
RB: Robin: I had a very difficult time choosing the right character here, but I believe Robin is brash enough to be the star running back on this team. Despite being a little under-sized I think Robin’s intelligence and agility would make up for it. He’d be an excellent pass catching back similar to a Marshall Faulk. May shy from contact here and there, but brings an entirely new element to your offense.
FB: Atom: Fullback is a dirty, unglamorous job. A perfect fit for this ex-boxer, who would certain play larger than he is. Atom wouldn’t complain and would go in play hard ever down breaking wedges and running over defenders to ensure his running back has an open lane to the end zone.
WR: Green Lantern: Powered by will the Lantern certainly wouldn’t mind going across the middle to catch a pass, but more importantly his will-powered ring would come in handy making highlight reel catches look easy.
WR: Booster Gold: Love him or hate him Booster Gold is the perfect example of a current NFL receiver. Ego-driven, borderline megalomaniac, but his spectacular catches would surely make you forget he changed his last name to something like, Ochocinco.
TE: Captain Marvel: In the same boat as Batman and Superman with the ability to play nearly any position, but I decided to put him at tight end because of the position’s two-way style of play. Captain Marvel is a team player and wouldn’t mind blocking and laying defenders out and when the offense needs a boost; you can bet he’s going to turn into Gronkowski type of tight end. A massively strong receiver, shedding defenders and catching passes you’d never think a big guy could.
Center: Cyborg: A big, powerful half-robot, half-human. His intelligence makes him an excellent center. He’d be able to correctly read the defense make the necessary line adjustments plus he’s strong enough to pancake incoming pass rushers.
OL: Steel, Apache Chief, Metallo, Killer Croc: Two heroes, two villains, four immensely powerful men. I don’t know who would get past any of them once they planted their feet in the ground and besides would anyone really want to line up across Killer Croc?
Killer Croc
Kicker: Deadshot: Same reasoning here as my pick for quarterback. He’d definitely be a kicker with a dark side, but who could complain with his pin-point accuracy from sixty yards out?
Coach: Lex Luthor: The king of DC villains. Always has some sort of diabolic plan up his sleeve. You may not agree with his methods, but his ice-cold execution would silence any of his critics. After all, we’re not all Belichick fans, but who can argue with championships.
Well there you have it folks. I hope you enjoyed the selections, but now it’s time to ask the ultimate question…who would win? Marvel’s team or this DC squad? Happy football season everybody.
Follow on Facebook and Twitter @theDrunkenNerd.
About Neil Strebig
Neil is a journalist student by choice and cook by trade. When he's not busy writing or slaving away in the kitchen, he spends most of his time trying to find the Legion of Doom's hideout. So far no luck, but he did manage to stumble upon Castle Greyskull in the swamps of New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @theDrunkenNerd
